Z is for Zeal
If your kids don’t feel your passion, presence, and purpose—they’ll find it in someone else.
Most people hear "peaceful parenting" and picture some limp dad whispering affirmations while his kid sets the house on fire. They think peace means passive, gentle means soft, and respect means weak.
Peaceful Parenting takes Zeal.
Not hope, prayers, or wishful thinking.
It takes relentless, focused, and passionate energy directed at being the best father you can be. You don't stumble into peaceful parenting. You consciously enter into the arena of growth, healing, and responsibility.
It's easy to yell, and it's easy to control. Any fool with a temper can raise a fearful child, but it takes zeal to stay grounded when your kid disrespects you. It takes zeal to sit down, breathe, and teach instead of punishing. You must want this so badly that no old programming, generational trauma, or bad day at work can knock you off course.
Breaking bad habits and generational trauma isn't easy, and you'd better show up armed with self-awareness, discipline, and love that doesn't quit.
Peaceful parenting is not about letting your kids run wild.
It's about leading them with strength and clarity instead of fear and force. That takes daily effort, daily restraint, and daily intention.
Here's the part most men underestimate:
You will have to regulate yourself even when angry
You will have to stay calm in the face of disrespect
You will have to show love when you're exhausted
You will have to teach what was never taught to you
You will have to be consistent even when it's inconvenient
That's the grind. That's the work. That's zeal.
I remember a time with my son when I could've easily fallen into my old habits, raising my voice, demanding obedience. He was acting out, pushing every button I had, testing limits, and I felt the old urge to react, shut him down, and make him submit. But I paused.
Instead of getting angry, I asked, "What's going on? Why are you acting this way?" We sat down, had a conversation, and I listened to him.
It wasn't quick or easy. It took patience. It took energy. But in that moment, I showed him respect. I showed him I cared about understanding him instead of just trying to control him.
That's zeal. It wasn't about the quick fix. It was about putting in the hard work to teach him how to process his emotions, how to express himself, and how to respect the love we share.
You've got to love the mission more than you love your comfort. You've got to listen more than you want to win the argument. You've got to care enough to rewire your brain while raising another human being.
That's not easy.
That's not soft.
That's work, and it's the most meaningful work you'll ever do.
That's the kind of man your children need. Not the guy who shouts "Because I said so," but the one who says, "Let's talk. I want you to understand." Not a man who hides behind his title, but one who earns his influence through trust. Not a man who parents out of fear, but one who leads with purpose.
You don't get there by luck.
You don't get there by chance.
You don't get there by accident.
You get there by dedicating yourself fully every day.
- Anthony
WTF Is “Zeal” and Why Are We Talking About It?
Peaceful parenting requires power, and that power comes from ZEAL.
Really good parents don’t fake enthusiasm or offer performative affection.
Zeal is fire, focus, and the ferocious desire to lead, love, and live with purpose.
What do we see from most fathers today?
They’re sleepwalking through their role, distracted, dull, and disengaged; scrolling their phones while their kids scroll their souls into oblivion.
The Real Enemy Isn’t Chaos—It’s Apathy
You can discipline calmly and correct with clarity, but if you show up like a dead man walking, you’re not raising a child - you’re just managing one.
Your kids don’t need a roommate or a referee, they need a man on fire.
They need to see your zeal for being their dad; tthe kind that shows up in your eyes when they walk in the room, and the kind that makes them know, “My dad gives a damn.” I know that my son and daughter know how much I love them, because I can’t fucking contain the energy they inspire within my soul.
I get pumped the fuck up just talking to them, because they’re the awesome humans my wife and I created, they are so interesting and fun to be around.
Here’s the brutal truth for those who don’t get what I’m saying:
If you don’t bring that passion, the world will.
If you don’t make your children feel like you want to be around them, someone else is going to and the person who gives them that care and attention they need, the kind that makes everyone feel better about themselves, your children are going to connect and attach themselves more to that person, and to be honest, they should.
A child should have people who champion them and love them just for being who they are.
Zeal Looks Like This:
You ditch the phone in favor of their company.
You say “no” to that extra work trip because you know being home for dinner matters more than another notch on the corporate belt.
You take your kids to the gym, on hikes, and with you on the smallest drives just to get some time together.
You don’t yell.
You don’t hit.
You live with so much fire, your kids never forget how it feels to be seen, heard, and fought for.
The Myth of “Chill Dad” Is Killing Fatherhood
You want your kids to be calm, cool, and collected?
Then show them what that looks like.
Be the storm with restraint.
Be the fire with direction.
Peaceful parenting isn’t pacifism, it’s more of a controlled dominance; it’s emotional regulation backed by emotional commitment.
You want to change your kid’s life for the better?
Then bring your zeal to the table every day.
Don’t just “spend time” Invest energy.
Don’t just “be nice” Be intentional.
Ask yourself this:
Do your kids feel your fire?
Do they feel your mission?
Do they see a man who’s all-in?
Because the world doesn’t need more dads going through the motions, it needs more fathers burning with purpose…
Leading with love and raising warriors through peace.
- Zac
PS: If this hit home, share it.
If it pissed you off, read it again.
And if you’re ready to parent with power, then show up like a man on fire.