Freedom in parenting isn’t just about letting kids run wild.
It’s not about a free-for-all with no boundaries.
It’s about raising confident kids who can’t be threatened or manipulated by anyone, not even the so-called “authorities” they’ll face in the real world.
Freedom is about giving your kids the tools to think for themselves, speak their minds, and act confidently, no matter what external forces try to control them. That’s real freedom, and it starts with how you parent.
When your kids grow up in a home where they’re respected, can disagree, make mistakes, challenge dad, and can ask questions without fear, you’re giving them something more valuable than being the “good” kid. You’re giving them autonomy and resilience.
A kid who’s encouraged to think critically doesn’t blindly follow the crowd. A kid who’s allowed to speak openly doesn’t fall for manipulative authority figures. And a kid who’s taught the balance of responsibility and freedom doesn’t collapse under pressure or fall into rebellion just to feel alive.
Compare that to the kid raised under the pressure of constant control, where fear is the norm and obedience equals survival. That kid might seem compliant, but inside, they’re dying. They either grow up desperate for someone to tell them what to do or rebel so hard they lose themselves in the confusion. Either way, they’re not free. They’re trapped by the fear and patterns you created in their childhood.
Freedom isn’t about letting your kids do whatever they want. It’s about giving them the strength to do what they know is right, even when the world tries to push them around. It’s about teaching them how to spot a bully in a classroom, recognize manipulation in relationships, and stand firm in their values when everyone else crumbles.
You do this by being a guide, not a dictator. You set reasonable boundaries and explain the “why” behind them. You listen when they speak, even if you don’t like what they’re saying. You let them fail, not to watch them struggle, but to watch them learn. This kind of freedom creates kids who aren’t just physically free. They’re free in their minds and hearts. And those kids grow up unafraid.
They don’t need validation from anyone because they’ve already earned it from themselves. They don’t bow to mob rule because they know how to think for themselves. They can cooperate with others without compromising who they are.
That’s the kind of freedom you can’t take away, the kind that no amount of yelling, threatening, or manipulating will ever break. Many parents justify mistreating their kids to keep them “safe” or “protected.” Freedom doesn’t mean raising kids without rules; it means raising kids without chains.
The best way to get your kids to follow “the rules” is by being patient and explaining things, showing them how effective teamwork is, and modeling the behaviors yourself.
This isn’t about “free-range parenting” or raising a bunch of rule-breakers, which sounds incredible and should be encouraged. But this is about raising leaders. Kids who don’t just survive in the world but thrive because they’ve learned how to stand tall, face challenges head-on, and never back down from small-minded individuals who desire control.
By parenting this way, you’re not just telling and showing your kids what’s right. You’re showing them why it matters. And that’s how you raise a child who doesn’t just do the right thing because you’re watching but because it’s part of who they are. Their character and values are developed through the principles of freedom, not the pressure, restraint, or worry of control. That’s the legacy of a father who raises his kids in freedom.
- Anthony
Zac’s Take on Parenthood and Freedom
When discussing granting children Freedom, I have to ask myself, “Am I granting freedom, or am I, in fact, in a position where I filter which freedoms can be experienced at that stage of their life?”.
Children are born with zero restrictions aside from their mental and physical capacities. As adults, we place boundaries upon children, restricting their wide-open access to life.
Sometimes, it’s for a just cause: “Do not swim in that river. The tide is high, and the current is fast. You are likely to drown.”
Sometimes, it’s not, “You must eat all of this food, or you’re not getting down from the table.”.
When considering our role as parents, we first consider keeping our children alive. From that first task, we introduce them to the world so they can become capable without our ever-present guiding hand. Granting children greater freedom means allowing them to go beyond our grasp faster than we’re comfortable.
I do not judge protective parents as malicious or evil, as I know they want to care for their babies; I view them as lacking courage and confidence, and their fear is projected onto their children, and manifests itself in how they parent.
As backward as it may seem, granting your children greater freedom and allowing them to go beyond our sphere of maximum control is what they need to become the greatest version of themselves. The " Competence and confidence” we want our children to display as adults are developed when they have to figure things out on their own, which requires suffering the natural consequences of poor decisions.
Step back from thinking you are failing as a parent if your child makes a mistake, and let go of the notion that without your relentless oversight and presence, the world is going to destroy your child.
You must let them grow on their own and experience all that this life has to offer, and that is why children with more freedom, not less, are more disciplined and more prepared to survive on their own, which is the aim of every parent.
- Zac