Breaking free from your old parenting reactions is like breaking any old habit, it’s difficult; but I promise you that the relationships you can build with your child by improving your emotional regulation is worth all of the effort in the world.
You aren’t a “bad parent” for struggling to transition away from yelling, threats, and manipulative tactics; you have to change who you are from the deepest recesses of your development, and that’s not easy.
You likely parent in the same, or similar, methods to what your parents used on you. I mean, that’s what we’re told, “Our parents did their best”, and so how are we supposed to do better?
Kids are kids, whether it’s 1950 or 2024, right?
Right..?
To become a better and more peaceful parent, you must discover a way to be at peace knowing that your parents did not do their best. They did what was easiest, and that is how you’ve found yourself where you are.
You can change, and that change is worth it; that change is also what will alter your perspective on your childhood and the future of your children’s lives. If you’ve been looking for a moment to turn things around, this is it.
- Zac
Watch this video from The Considerate Momma to see a mother’s reaction to this duality that exists inside the minds of parents trying to be different:

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The easiest way to avoid parental responsibility is to blame your child’s behavior as the thing that is making you rage. Understanding that your child isn’t the problem is at the core of understanding what you need to work on so bad patterns don’t repeat.
You’ll never find inner peace while running from the truth of what you’ve become.
Look at how you treat your child, the double standards, the hypocritical rules you impose but don’t follow yourself.
When we get triggered by another person, it is because of some unresolved pain or trauma we have within. Chances are, you were raised in a home that treated you exactly like you’re now treating your child. Don’t be the “do as I say, not as I do” parent.
Being an adult doesn’t give you a pass to inflict physical or emotional harm on your kids. If you want your kids to be consistent in their lives, lead by example. Show some integrity and stop the lies.
Excuses don’t cut it; your actions do.
- Anthony
If you’d like to change how things are going in your home, consider becoming a paid subscriber to A to Z Parenting, and drop your comments and questions into the section below these posts.
Together, we can get your house in order by helping you get the thoughts in your head laid out.
- Zac and Anthony