Attention, or the lack of it, has become a serious problem today, and it's hitting parents just as hard as kids. We, as parents, play a crucial role in setting examples for our children.
We blame our kids when they are distracted, won't listen, or don't pay attention, but everything they do is from the examples we show them. We're all stretched thin, overworked, mentally exhausted, juggling endless responsibilities. With all the distractions around us, it's easy to let the most important thing slip through the cracks: being present with our kids.
It's not just the kids who suffer when attention is missing; the whole family gets disconnected.
Parents start going through the motions, checking boxes, and getting caught up in perfectionism or productivity. Instead of showing up emotionally, we tend to hide behind busy schedules and to-do lists, convinced we must "do it all" to be good parents.
But kids don't need a perfect parent; they need a consistent one.
They need to know that you'll show up even on the toughest days.
You'll be there for them, not with all the answers, but with your attention. You don't need to be perfect; you need to be there consistently.
Attention is the foundation of good parenting
It shapes how kids see themselves, their worth, and the world around them.
When kids get genuine, focused attention, they learn they're important and valued. This is where self-esteem and emotional maturity are developed. Paying close attention means you get to know your kid's needs, deficiencies, and struggles, which lets you respond in a way that builds a bond of trust and respect. This is about more than just being in the same room.
For most parents, especially dads, it's easy to do fun and cool things with your kids, which you should be doing, but the tricky part is giving them that attention when things get complicated. It's about showing up mentally and emotionally, letting your child know you see them, hear them, and care about what's going on with them. That kind of attention builds them up and creates children who won't be manipulated by external influences.
Do you want to have a healthy relationship with your child? Keep showing up and being present. This means being tuned into your kid's body language, their tone, and the words they use.
Even when they're not saying much, there's always something to be heard in the way they stand, the look in their eyes, or the quietness in their voice. Reflecting back on what you notice shows them that you're not just hearing but understanding them. Ask questions, but don't interrogate.
Show interest in what they think and feel and what they care about. And when they're happy, sad, or frustrated, don't rush to fix it. Sit with them in those emotions, validate them, and reassure them you will be there in dark times. This emotional presence is the foundation of a strong, trusting relationship.
It's not about avoiding failure or striving for perfection; it's about being there for the messy and joyful moments without distraction. That's how you build connection. That's how you raise emotionally secure, confident kids who know they're loved.
- Anthony
Do we have your attention yet?
Have you heard that the opposite of love is not hate but rather apathy?
Hate requires energy and attention to be given, whereas being “nothinged” by someone, they’ve taken everything from you, no energy, no attention…
Now, think about the child who goes out of their way to cause trouble; is it a “bad kid” we’re seeing, or is it someone who’d rather be yelled at than ignored?
Where are you giving your attention?
Show me that, and I will show you where your priorities are.
The greatest gift you can give your child isn’t a present; it’s your presence.
A distraction-free parent investing time and energy into their child gives that kid the greatest advantage in life.
There are parents out there who love their children more than anything, who have gotten caught up in the loop of work, scroll, and chill which has days going by in what feels like hours.
It’s not that life is too short or that our kids are growing up too fast; the issue is that hours are wasted when they’re given to people and things that do not matter.
If you know what Donald Trump and Kamala Harris said today, but you haven’t spoken to your children today, you are part of the problem in America. What happens in the White House matters little compared to what is happening in your house.”.
Audit Your Time
If you want to give your children the attention they deserve, you must recognize what does not require the amount of minutes you give to it.
Look at your job, phone usage, TV consumption, and the habits of texting/gossiping on phone calls…
These are the areas where you’ll find the time to reconnect with your children. It may take some time to get it dialed in, as distractions are addicting, and you may face withdrawal from those outlets, but there is no greater ROI than time with your children, so find a way to make it through without succumbing to your vice.
Find those minutes, find those hours, and make them count.
Sometimes, it may mean taking the kids with you on car rides to get food, gas, or just a quick run to the store. The more face-to-face time you can get, the better connected to your child you will be, and a child who is seen and heard is one who knows they are loved, and a kid who is loved won’t feel the need to act out for attention.
Start immediately;
Your lack of attention for them now is why your child won’t find time for you later.
- Zac